


Super Ace Moments, or "I Should Have Realized When..."

by WithHeartRemiss



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Acephobia, Also Mai would definitely become some kind of movie star, Aromantic Asexual, Aromantic Pansexual, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Bisexual Male Character, Gen, Homoromantic Asexual Character, Nothing explicit occurs but mention of attempted sexual coercion, The occult deck was totally Ryou's and not Yami Bakura's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4015111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithHeartRemiss/pseuds/WithHeartRemiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments in the life of Ryou Bakura, who realized he had different priorities than his friends and classmates did. And maybe valued friendship more strongly than people realize, even if he didn't talk about it like Tea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. I am a person who is ace (asexual, for those not in the know) and aroflux. I fluctuate between demiromantic and aromantic. I wrote this fic for my own sake first and foremost, and only later figured I'd share it in case anyone else wants an aromantic ace Ryou Bakura. Disclaimer: I do not live in Japan, and the anti ace and anti aro sentiment Ryou faces mimics what I have encountered rather than what a person in Japan may encounter, since again, it was written for me. Many of the specific arguments/statements have been directed at me personally, and this is a way for me to work through them. Some of Ryou's thoughts and worries mimic my own.

I suppose if anyone had to suffer an evil, vengeful spirit possessing them at random times, it's best that it was me. 

_Life's no fun without a good scare_ , right? 

I dust off my desk in my room, and delicately place a fresh paper down. It's time I wrote her a letter again. Even if all it does is make me feel better. I grip a wooden pencil.

The last time I tried to write to Amane, the spirit took control of me. My ribs ache just thinking about it, right in the spots were the ring jabbed me.

 _Life's no fun without a good scare_. Or so I thought growing up. When a cousin of mine took me and my sister to a haunted house, I'd caught a lifelong fascination with frightening things. I almost jumped out of skin when a masked man jumped out of the wall. I wailed and shrieked. But I loved every moment of it.

After that, I started going to all kinds of occult and magic themed stores. Always dragging Amane along with me to the costume shops. I gained an interest in tales about vampires, zombies, and other undead. Ouija boards, seances, demonic possession, horror movies, I loved everything that could give me a real good fright.

I began to write scratchy letters, though the writing became clearer after a couple sentences.

"Dear Amane. School is fun. Yugi and I got into a prank war last week. It was great. Remember how we use to prank each other? "

My sister and I would take turns hiding under the bed and jumping from the closet. It always ended with the both of us laughing, after a shriek or two. And we always made sure we only pranked people who liked that kind of thing. 

One day, we were buying dice (like the ones on my dresser by my bed) for a roleplaying game I'd just learned about. Amane joked that I'd probably unthinkingly pick up some ancient soul jar from one of Dad's archeological digs. Instead of being frightened, she said, I'd make friends with the ghost inside it. 

And a couple years after she and mom died, Dad gave me the millenium ring.

My eyes burn from the memory. Oh god. I know I have to. But I can't get rid of it. 

When I hear a _crack_ , I bring my thoughts back to the blank paper on my desk. The pencil that was in my hand is in pieces, scattered across the paper.

Oh, I think distantly. I broke it.

While sweeping up the wooden pieces carefully off my desk, the spirit finally makes his presence known. 

_**You like a good scare, huh? Maybe we should have some fun. I'll take control, you wake up** _ **who knows where**

He faintly whispers something about a stranger's bed before I throw the ring across the room, where it takes a chunk of plaster out of the wall. 

Later, I realize I really should have thrown it outside.

I never will, will I?

******

Marik contacts me after Battle City. I read the somewhat rambling email at dinnertime. He outs himself online, and apologizes for doing so, but he said he wasn't sure how I'd react. He tentatively asks if I like him, and if not, can we still be friends?

I quickly put my soup cup down to write him an email back. I tell him that he doesn't need to apologize, it's risky to tell people you're gay. I'm not into men or women, sorry, but I'm flattered. I'd like to remain friends, though. 

He's understanding, and sends me an email every week after that. I look forward to booting up my computer and checking my inbox every Friday after school. 

I'm relieved the week after he tells me he has a boyfriend, and he doesn't suddenly disappear.

******

I heard people whispering in the hall, when I was about to turn on the faucet in the boys restroom.

A pair of girlish voices were crooning, "Ryou's soooo innocent and pure."

As I turned on the water, I realized they were talking about the soft rejection I gave Serenity earlier, who was trying to hint at her feelings. "You and your brother are two of my closest _friends_ ," I'd said, with a smile. 

The water rushing from the sink drowned out the voices in the hall. 

I'm not innocent, really. It's just that people assume if you never respond positively to anyone flirting with you, you must not have understood. 

******

Tea smiled, and patted my head. "Maybe you're just a late bloomer. You'll find someone eventually."

We sat on the grass under the shade of the tree in the schoolyard, on a picnic blanket. Joey and Yugi would be bringing lunch today, in a few minutes. 

I reply back, "Joey knew he was bi since he was 12. And Yugi said he liked girls since he was 8."

Tea shrugged. "That's true, I guess."

I stare down at the grass. "How old do I have to be before I know?"

I look back at my friend sitting across from me. She's taken to wearing a sleeveless denim dress, after Yugi said he likes them. Tea knows what she wants. She's known for a while. 

 

******

I woke up alone in a hospital room. The telltale medicine and plastic smell gave it away before I opened my eyes. 

It's not the first time I woke up in a hospital after one of those blackouts, and it probably won't be the last.

The needle in my arm itches terribly. 

A flood of images and sensations jolt my brain. Shadows. Someone pleading for Yugi to stay, the edges of the words tinged with hysteria. My mouth filled with something bitter, tasting like rusted iron.

Did the spirit harm my friends? 

I leap from the bed, and crumble to the floor in mass of tangled wires and sheets. 

My friends visit the day after I wake up. 

Belatedly, I remember that the spirit is long gone, and that we were attacked by a mugger.

******

Two people hold hands and whisper soothing words to each other in the stark white waiting room.

Not for the first time, I push out of my mind the thought that someday soon, all my friends will start pairing up. Except for me. 

I wring my hands, almost cutting off the circulation, thinking back to one of Tea's friendship speeches a few years ago. I didn't believe anyone really meant it when they said they valued friends above all else. That didn't stop me from befriending Joey, then Yugi back then...but I remember deliberately looking away from Tea for the rest of the day.

I shift in my seat, and move to stare at the clock, trying to block out the rest of the people in the doctor's office. 

Serenity comes to mind. Her hopeful face. 

Maybe I should have faked it? 

But Serenity wouldn't have been happy with that.

******

We were heading to the Moto game shop. Tristan and Joey walked ahead, spread out, taking up the whole sidewalk. I lagged behind, one eye on the cars passing by and one wary eye watching my friends.

"Everyone wants to have sex with someone." Tristan insisted. "It's human nature."

I wonder if Tristan suspects that he just implied that I'm not human. 

"Nah," Joey said after a few moments of silence. "That guy was telling the truth. I could tell. Why do ya care, anyway? "

At that, I saw Tristan go as red as the jacket he was wearing, sputtering and fuming. His arms shook as he spat out, "He thinks he's better than us. He-"

I couldn't help myself. I pushed my way to the front, next to Joey and interrupted Tristan. "Tanaka seemed kinda embarrassed to me. I don't think he wanted to tell anyone."

Joey turned to me and grinned wide. The blond boy pulled me into an affectionate headlock. "See? Ryou agrees with my assessment!" I can't quite squirm out of the hold, but I valiantly try. 

Grumbling, (because Tristan never liked admitting he was wrong) Tristan shot back. "Assessment? That's a big word for you."

That killed the trademark Joey grin in an instant and he let go of me. The blond's eyes flashed.

"HEY! You know, you're a real jerk sometimes!" Joey balled his fists, though he kept his hands at his sides.

The rest of the walk to Yugi's was filled with tense silence. 

******

"The show is mostly for kids...but-" The actress smirked and waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "It's got a little something for the adults as well. "

Something for the adults. I think to myself, I'm an adult, and I don't enjoy that. 

******

The other two left when Mai shouted at them, thank god, and now it was just Mai and I on the new sofa. 

The older blonde woman pulled me aside. She looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, hun."

I fidget with the cuffs of my sleeves. "It's fine, really."

Mai shakes her head. "No, it wasn't fine." The older woman gestures to the front door of the apartment. 

"I would have told them to knock if off sooner, but they'd just accuse me of prudery-" Mai gestures emphatically in the vague direction of her room, and closet, knowing I've seen what's in there. "Respecting boundaries isn't...ugh, I was afraid they'd just harass you more."

While we sit on the sofa, Mai goes on to tell me quite firmly that she's not inviting anyone over again who won't hear "no".

******

"He said WHAT? Why I oughta...that hack!" The blond male spat. 

Joey Wheeler sent a glare in the vague direction of my therapist's office. Which was no easy feat, since we were on campus between classes, and the office was across town.

The yelling makes me cringe, though I can't help but feel a little bit of glee rise up from the pit of my stomach. At least two of my friends don't think there's something wrong with me.

I speak more confidently this time.  
"Dr. Yamato thinks I'm 'repressing' something."

My friend sitting across from me seemed to choke back some angry retort before continuing.

Joey waved a dismissive hand. "Ain't ya supposed to be there for...all the crap ya went through thanks to...ya know, Duelist Kingdom, Battle City... the spirit?"

Between bites of food, I say, "I am. But the doctor thinks my disinterest in sex and romantic relationships must have been caused by...the thing with Mai's former friends...and wants me to work on that."

Joey snorts. I try to continue, but my voice falters halfway through the first word. Being invalidated by your _therapist_ does wonders for your self confidence. 

My friend pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly as agitated as I am. 

"If it ain't bothering ya, it doesn't need to be fixed."

******

I grip my overheated, half-dead cellphone in my cold hands. It's just the frozen weather making me cold. Unbidden, the words _robot_ and _inhuman_ and _alien_ come to the forefront of my mind, and I shove the thoughts violently aside.

My breath forms a little cloud when I exhale. 

I confess over the speaker, "Sometimes it bothers me." 

I walk in cold, rainy silence for a minute. I panic for a moment, thinking surely Joey's gotten worse from therapists. He's bisexual, after all. Do I have any right to complain, really? 

Then the muffled voice of Joey Wheeler comes through.

"Does it bother ya when people _aren't_ being jerks to ya? Or just when they are? Cause that's the jerks' problem, not something wrong with you."

I think about that for the rest of the week.

******

"The younger Kaiba brother, Mokuba Kaiba, is said to broken off a merger with Wizards & Wights due to the CEO's racially charged comments regarding the elder Kaiba's recent declaration of being a gay asexual. More at eleven."

I blink, and only just remember to not drop my plate as I saunter into my living room. Seto Kaiba is...a gay asexual? My brain takes over thirty seconds to catch back up to reality, while the word asexual flitters through my thoughts. 

The reporter on the tv chatters about other things in the meantime, but I resolve to wait to hear more.

And I'll ask Mokuba how he's doing these days, sometime tomorrow. 

And I won't be giving that other company any money in the future.

******

It's a quiet thing, really. And yet it's not. I'm glued to my computer chair, eyes on the screen, refreshing every ten seconds. 

I dropped a link to a blog about asexuality and aromanticism just a minute before. And I linked to it on my social networks, where Dad and my cousins and my friends and their friends' friends can see.

The comments line up in minutes. 

_So you're a plant? Haha._

_Looks like somene's got speshul sNOWFLAKE sYNDROME._

_u should get ur hormones checked. thats not normal._

_That's not real. Nobody's asexual._

_Don't worry, you'll find that special someone someday, and it'll be different!_

I sigh. I reach to shut the power off, until I see a notification. 

_Shut your mouths, or you're all fired -Kaiba S._

******

"I feel so bad for you, cause you can't feel love," my younger cousin says, completely sincerely, large brown eyes staring up at me. 

It feels like a stab to my chest. A bit like when that ring (long ago) would pierce me between my ribs. I guess familial love and friends don't count. 

We sit, sipping hot cocoa, but it takes effort for me to keep it down. I can't help but think it's funny, that supposedly I'm the one who is _heartless_ , yet I would never say something like that. 

******

The entertainment column I read sometimes is coming out with a live podcast again. It's another debate about Seto Kaiba. I read it on my phone while on my sofa, my lunch forgotten on the coffee table. As I fidget to get comfortable and place my headphones over my ears, I wonder when I started caring about celebrity gossip. 

The young columnist's picture heads the page at the top, along with a photo of another writer being interviewed. The columnist has his hair slicked back, and wears a rainbow pride pin. The other, slightly older guest with a crisp suit is laughing at something not visible. 

I push the "play podcast" button when the clock hits 5, and listen for several minutes. 

The host of the podcast brings up Seto Kaiba at the three minute mark. 

"He's with the rockstar Joseph Wheeler, right? Who is publicly out as bisexual."

The guest voice says, "That's the rumor. Too bad. Honestly, asexuals shouldn't be in relationships with normal people, it's unfair."

My headphones become uncomfortably tight. 

"Oh, really? What do you mean?"

"Sex is a need, John! Who is going to be satisfied with a loveless relationship?"

"I'm sure they can compromise. Maybe Joseph Wheeler's celibate?"

"Repressed and sexually frustrated, more likely. "

I exit out of my browser and put my phone down on the coffee table. 

******

He's really grown up, I think fondly. I can hardly believe it, but Mokuba is taller than me now. Goodness gracious, he's even got a little beard. When did that happen? 

The young man scrutinizes me with dark steely eyes. 

"If Joey was unhappy, everyone would know. Joey Wheeler isn't exactly the best liar in the world."

I shrug, and laugh. "You're probably right. He's too open, and...honest. "

While Mokuba turns back to his laptop, I straighten out my clothes. We (Mokuba, Mai, and I) are waiting in a limo for both of them (Joey and Kaiba) to get out of the mansion. Unbelievably, Seto Kaiba agreed to see some mummy horror movie with us for old times' sake, on the condition that Yugi and Tea aren't there to rub it in ("Seeeee! You're friends with us after all!").

I stare out the window of the limo and count leaves on the trees. 

******

My jaw drops. "Really?" 

We're under the yellow light of the movie theater marquee. The red sequins of Mai's dress glitter. Mai herself just offers me a winning smile.  
"Yes, I can definitely get you a part in the next movie. I know you love spooky stuff so much, I just had to."

I stammer. "Thank you. I-I don't know w-what to say?"

We walk back inside the theater, where Joey and Mokuba are still trying to beat each other's high scores on some old arcade machines. Mai looks on ahead, while I walk beside her. 

"Um, my friends working on the movie will probably think you're my boyfriend or something, but don't worry, I don't expect anything...." She laughs. "I don't even get the whole romance thing anyway."

I can't help it, I audibly gasp at the revelation. Talking to people on the internet was great, but...

I'm not the only one.

That's the day it really sunk in. 

******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, "Wizards & Wights" isn't intended to be any currently existing roleplaying game or game company. I chose the name because it had a double meaning.
> 
> I am leaving this fic open if I feel like writing more, but IDK if I will.


	2. Getting On My Feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nurse is intended to be this character: http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Kaiba%27s_maid
> 
> As far as I know, she's nameless, so I gave her a name.
> 
> This chapter represents a few moments of confidence, though Ryou still has to deal with a bit of ignorance from people

"When I was a little girl," the dark haired nurse began, "the other girls would often ask me, who do you think is hot? Which boy do you like?"

I feel a wry smile forming on my face. Who do you like? It should be an innocent question, but...

Miss Aoki delicately placed the fresh bandage over my arm. A little of my blood had gotten on her clothes, though she hadn't seemed to be bothered by it.

She said, "I told the truth the first few times. I said I liked nobody like _that_. "

The woman glanced toward the door. It was open, but the hall was empty. 

"My best friend at that time called me a liar. Wouldn't believe me," the nurse went on. "So I started faking having crushes on celebrities just to get her off my back." Aoki's voice dropped to a low whisper, "I once pretended to have a crush on Gozaburo Kaiba, because I thought there was no way I'd ever associate with..." 

The Kaibacorp-employed nurse was barely suppressing laugher. I couldn't help but let a chuckle escape my mouth. 

My legs start cramping, so I shift my position on the bed. It's more comfortable than a hospital bed (nothing but the best for the Kaiba mansion) but I've been stuck here since yesterday, what with the stairs fanmob incident and all. Mokuba insisted on it.

After I get comfortable on the other side of the bed, I clear my throat and say, "Once, my classmates asked which girl I thought was hottest."

Aoki nods slowly, and starts gathering her medical supplies strewn about on a nightstand. 

I continue. "I just...made up a name."  
I shook my head, thinking of what a terrible idea that was. 

"It turned out to be the name of an actual girl. She started following me after she heard people say I liked her."

Miss Aoki covers her mouth with her hand. "Oh no. Really?" The thirtysomething woman flashes me a sympathetic smile. 

For the rest of the hour, we chat about times we'd faked crushes or pretended to find people sexy. 

******

He invites me to the ceremony. It's not official, but they're getting married.

He'll still be Marik Ishtar, and his boyfriend Kareem will keep his own last name. 

Marik calls me personally to effuse about the wedding plans, tell me the details, and what to expect. It'll be a blend of Ishtar family tradition and modern style weddings.

I listen, with my cellphone tucked between my shoulder and my ears. I can tell he's happy, and it brings a smile to my face as well. "That's great."

"It's not awkward for you, is it?" My friend's voice suddenly sounds unsure.

I'm not going to break down in envious tears or anything, if that's what he thinks. Joyful ones, maybe. And even if I was envious, I would never miss one of my closest friends' _wedding_ , for goodness's sake! 

"No," I tell him firmly. "So when's the date?"

******

About a year after the Pharaoh passed on, Yugi mentioned a time I was "awake" during Battle City that I actually wasn't. Of course, I told him the truth. Yugi's eyes went wide, and insisted I had acted just like myself. 

I learned right then that the spirit of the ring had been a very good actor. I always assumed I'd be as bad an actor as I am a bad liar. But if I understand what the deal is with those spirits Yugi and I had, they're the other half of our souls. 

So I tried a drama class in the summer after high school, just to see if I was capable of acting. I had hoped to fumble and fail at it. I wanted proof that I wasn't like him at all. Surprisingly, I ended up having fun instead. 

When I stepped on stage and needed to be a villain, I just did what the spirit would have done. When I needed to be a hero or simply assertive, I did what the Pharaoh would have done, minus the penalty games. If I needed to be nice, I was Yugi. Any role and any script I was handed by the class to act out, I thought of someone I knew well enough to imitate. I surprised Yugi one day, enough to drop his deck, when he'd asked Joey a question and I'd mimicked Joey perfectly.

After Mai got me a small time part in one of her movies, I started getting more roles, bit by bit, over seven years. 

I almost regret it right now, because I am still a bad liar, and I'm not sure how to answer the question I was just posed. I can't exactly tell anyone about the ring. 

The bright yellow lights in my eyes would make my face flush if I didn't know how to supress it from experience. The eyes of the crowd are focused on me. The interviewer smiles politely, patiently. I breathe in.

I have a flash of inspiration. If you look at it sideways, you could say...

"I wanted to prove that I could," I fib, more smoothly than I expected. "That's why I got into acting."

The interviewer laughs. "Someone thought you couldn't act? Oh my!" The audience roars with laughter as well. "Well, he or she must be eating their words now!"

 _Success_. I dodged that question. But it's not the only one I'm worried about. 

I keep answering as honestly as I can for several minutes, until the big question comes up.

"What I think everyone wants to know is," the host of the show says, "Is there someone special in your life?"

A lot, I think. There's a lot of special people in my life. But I know what they all really mean by _special_. It almost physically hurts to say no, like as if everyone in my life doesn't mean anything. 

******

"Are you still asexual?" My youngest cousin asks. The one turning 21 this year. He stares up at me.

The sky is dark and smoky. I'm a bit wobbly on my feet. But I'm not drunk or anything. 

"Yes. You still straight?" I fire back. 

My cousin is startled, mouth forming an 'O'. He says, "What?"

I grumble quietly. Hey. If you can ask me if I suddenly changed orientations, I should get to ask you. 

"I hope you understand," I say evenly, "how rude certain kinds of questions are."

Like invasive questions about my masterbation habits. Or if I still get morning wood. Or how do I know I don't want sex if I never tried it (how do you know you're straight if you've never tried gay sex, then?). Or about my hormone levels. Or if I was molested as a child (no, but it doesn't matter, I'd still have every right to never get within a mile of sexual situations again if I didn't want to). Or asking if I took some kind of religious vow. 

I walk away. 

******

"It's okay if you're gay," my grandfather tells me, sitting in a rocking chair while we wait for my Dad to get back. 

I don't even look away from my script, flipping through the pages. It's at least the tenth time I've been told that. It's just boring by now. 

"I wasn't under any other impression."

The room is silent for a minute. The fireplace crackles. 

My aging grandfather adds on, "Men don't always like the silly flowers and love crap like women do. But I never knew a man that didn't want to-"

I flip another page. I remember how Yugi proposed to his wife via a blimp. And the time Mai admitted to me that she hated geting flowers, because it meant her partners were getting the wrong impression.

******

I chat with Ai Aoki again when I visit the Kaiba mansion to see Joey. She greets me at the front door with a strained sort of expression, and while we head to the stairs, she informs me that Joey is in the game room with Mokuba, Yugi, and Yugi's five year old daughter. 

I walk up the stairs with her, falling just behind due to the narrowness of the corridor. "What's wrong, Aoki?"

She stops in her tracks and groans. "Ugh. Grandchildren. Grandchildren is what's wrong."

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have asked. I cringe, remembering the guilt trips and pleading from my grandmother. 

"Are your parents pressuring you?"

Aoki turns around. I notice her dark hair got longer than it used to be. Her eyes look like they're about to burst.

She cries, "Yes, damn them!" Aoki flails her arms, getting out pent up frustration that's probably been there for weeks.

She stops and sighs, "I mean, I do want kids, but..."

I say, "But not marriage or a sex life."

Aoki turns around, getting back on track. "Yes." 

We walk in the stairs in silence, and she leads me through the halls.

I think of a certain same gender couple who trust Aoki implicitly, and might want children too, but without the mother wanting a romantic relationship.

There could be a solution, I think, when we get to the game room. When I see the older Kaiba staring enviously at the littlest Moto and her beaming father, I decide to bring up the possibility later. 

******

"I only bug you because I want you to be happy," my Dad tells me. He stares at me, head tilted sideways, seeming thoughtful. 

My Dad never said a word, for years. I know he married later in life, so maybe that's why he didn't bring it up until now. 

We're having a low key lunch, just us. I live in house, not an apartment anymore. It's full of wide open space, the walls are a friendly sky blue and the carpet's grass green. Ancient archeological antiques and paranormal themed decor line the walls. 

I've got dozens of cards from all the friends I've made over the years, sitting on a shelf. I've gotten crayon drawings from Yugi's kids each time I visit the Moto household, and a watercolor painting from Aoki's little one, in a treasure chest.

I've got an aquarium tank in one corner, with a handsome red and purple betta fish named Atem. He is oddly passive for a betta, but otherwise, he acts proud and regal as his namesake was. 

I've got the most easily startled cat in the world, Amane, who was rescued from a rapidly flooding car, sitting on a rug and batting my shoelaces.

On my table stands a silver candle holder, my favorite souvenir from a werewolf and vampire movie, where I hit a werewolf in the face with it in the penultimate scene. Mai still laughed about it when she came over and saw the thing. 

The house doesn't feel empty to me. Not in the slightest. 

I face my father again, whom had simply watched as my eyes examined my home. 

My voice is full of warmth, when I say, "I am happy."

******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was shorter, but I hope it was still good anyway.


End file.
